i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
