She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize