she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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