Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
