dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
