You really coming over, don't trick.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He did a backflip because drugs
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
