who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
