ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
