super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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