drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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