Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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