Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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