No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
