I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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