He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
