When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I did not marry a roomba.
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