His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
