God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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