I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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