just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
