Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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