...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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