5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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