Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
