drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
