dude i'm inner monologue high
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
