k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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