If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
