I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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