Nicole vs. Life
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
