Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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