i think my mom watched the whole time
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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