you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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