I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
