I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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