ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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