I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
