You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize