I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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