:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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