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• (509): View more from Washington

  Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.

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• (315): View more from New York

  My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.

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• (650): View more from California

  I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.

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• (518): View more from New York

  It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  We can have bacon on the roof while tanning

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?

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• (845): View more from New York

  There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.

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