I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.