I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.