Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!