Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
how drunk are you?
Several
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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