We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
