Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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