What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
