i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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