cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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