yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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