Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
