Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
