i was born a porn star she said
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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