I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
