I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42ā€¯ tv lol
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
