Where is the hickey?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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