Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
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