We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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