Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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