that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
