how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
