maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We got so high we made milksteak
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
