its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
