I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
