Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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