good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize