Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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