Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
