Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
