his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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