he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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