in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
