She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
