You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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